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Girls Do Poop
The following stories are (unfortunately) true.
Very, very true.
MARYANN
The Meet The Family Shit
Warning: Don't mix train station steak sandwiches and meeting your new boyfriend's family for the first time.
LEAH
The Secret Service Shit
This is how an extra-large cup of coffee led to a "Sit Down Stare Down" with a Secret Service Agent.
KELLEY
The Elevator Shit
Having to poop at work is bad enough, but what happens when a shy shitter can't hold it on the way up to her private pooping floor?
HANNAH
The One-Night-Stand Shit
What's worse: a one-night-stand with a guy you don't like or having to poop so badly that you crap in a mixing bowl?
CAROLINE
The Car Shit
When babysitting, you'd expect the kid to poop their pants—not the babysitter.
BRITTANY
The Stairwell Shit
Maybe it was a dog, or a baby, or the 20-something-year-old who couldn't make it all the way to their apartment.
- Let it go //
- Let that shit out //
- Yes actually shit //
- Don't keep sitting on a throne of pretend //
- That nothing comes out of your rear end //
- That your caboose doesn't let loose //
- Doesn't drop a damn deuce //
- That you're not the pooperstar that you are //
- It's society's dupe that girls don't poop //
- That's constipation of the mind //
- That kind of thinking is behind //
- Besides, pooping's only natural //
- A purely factual part of having a body //
- Everybody drops turds //
- To deny it is absurd //
- It's part of being human //
- pooping, peeing and tootin' //
- Especially if you love bread but don't tolerate gluten //
- So get those gender rules off of our stools //
- We're all born to be number one at number two //
- No one can tell you how to do your doo-doo right //
- To cross your legs tight //
- To hide like you haven't pooped a day in your life //
- So let's start a movement //
- A bowel movement //
- Away from worry, shame and doubt //
- Don't hold that crap in //
- Push that shit out //
- At work, in restaurants in your school dormitory //
- Raise your voice and share your poop story //
- You, my friend, are not alone //
- So sit down //
- stand up //
- and own your throne //