your weekly guide to the stars, sun and (full) moon

August 9, 2021

Poo-erful new beginnings are on the way thanks to the new moon on the 8th. And since it’s in the sign of Leo, there might be more than a little drama coming along with it — but not necessarily the kind that stinks. This is a high-vibe time to manifest whatever you’ve been dreaming of, so get out there and make shit happen.

Aries

It’s go time for your love life, so look out for new suitors (or new ways to connect with your partner). And remember, not everything has to be a debate — so let that shit go.

Taurus

Consider giving into your love of luxury and splurging on that new apartment with the fancy bathroom this week. (Or just buy a bidet — either way, your butt deserves it.)

Gemini

A new neighbor might be moving in this week, so do your doody and go say hi. Just be sure to introduce both of your personalities.

Cancer

A new revenue stream could be on the horizon this week, Cancer. Or maybe you’ll just find a five-dollar bill on the ground (if you ever leave the house). Either way, you’re on a roll.

Leo

This week is all about you and your self-image, Leo (what else is new?). Consider starting a new gym routine or launching another new endeavor to enhance your sparkling poo-sonality.

Virgo

If you’ve been thinking about starting to volunteer or launching a philanthropic effort, now’s the time. Resist your type A personality’s urge to pursue perfection and just doo it.

Libra

What do you really wanna doo in life, Libra? This week’s a great time to meditate on your future goals and start working toward them. Daydreaming on the toilet is a good place to start.

Scorpio

Ooooh: Big movement is coming in your career, Scorp. Could this be the week you get that big promotion you’ve been pushing for?

Sagittarius

This week, consider booking a trip to a far-off land where you don’t speak the language — just don’t forget to pack the Poo~Pourri, because bathroom odor is universal.

Capricorn

Doo what you gotta doo to aid a friend or family member in a crisis shituation this week, Cap. Your disciplined approach might just make all the difference.

Aquarius

It’s a great week for new relationships, Aquarius. Expect to find some new pals that are just as weird as you are (FaceTiming on the toilet, anyone?).

Pisces

This week’s all about new beginnings for your health, Pisces. Maybe start getting more fiber in your diet? (Warning: This might reduce your daydreaming-on-the-toilet time.)