As Venus moves into Scorpio, shit is getting real in the love department. Scorpio is the sign of transformation, meaning big shifts are in the stars for your relationships. Could this be the week you finally decide to poop with the door open in front of your boo? Either way, don’t forget to spritz the Poo~Pourri.
Do you smell that? No, we didn’t fart: Big decisions are in the air as Mercury moves into the oh-so-social sign of Libra. You’ll be flush with charm and may feel the urge to socialize big-time this week, so resist the temptation to chat with your neighbor in the next stall (or don’t). You may find yourself having to make more choices than usual, so listen to your internal rumbling — it will never bullshit you.
The full moon in Aquarius brings a sense of urgency, meaning it’s go time this week. This celestial event is pushing things to happen NOW, one way or another — so make sure you know where the closest bathroom is, just in case a dire shituation crops up and you need to make an emergency exit.
Love is in the air now that Venus is in Libra, and it definitely does not stink. While this could mean you’ll be blown away by a new romantic love connection, keep in mind that love (much like your poop) can take many different forms. So keep an eye out for random flirtations with strangers or new pals that make you laugh so hard you poo your pants. And as always, do your doody and love yourself first — because you are the shit.
Poo-erful new beginnings are on the way thanks to the new moon on the 8th. And since it’s in the sign of Leo, there might be more than a little drama coming along with it — but not necessarily the kind that stinks. This is a high-vibe time to manifest whatever you’ve been dreaming of, so get out there and make shit happen.
The stars are aligning in poo-fectly neat rows this week — or so it seems. With Venus and Mars in the oh-so-organized sign of Virgo, right now it’s all about order, focusing on what matters, and taking things step by step. So lock the door, spritz 3 to 5 sprays of Poo~Pourri in the bowl, neatly fold that TP into a perfect square, and do your doody.
Oh crap: Three planets are changing signs this week, meaning BIG movements are on deck (and we’re not just talking about dropping the kids off at the pool). Your life could literally shift into a whole new gear overnight. And with big energy in Leo right now, it’s a great time to say “YES” to new possibilities and making shit happen.
Oh, shit! Mars, Pluto and Neptune are teaming up this week to form what’s known in astrology as a “Yod”. We’ll give it to you straight: Some unexpected crap might go down this week. You might be called upon to help someone out in a big way (like say, handing a wad of TP under a stall door), or deal with something that’s totally out of your control. So flush your expectations and trust that everything will turn out for the best.
Mercury has moved into the oh-so-emo sign of Cancer, meaning right now is the time to focus on your poo-sonal needs and whatever makes you feel safe (you know, like a securely locked bathroom door and a fresh roll of TP). Mercury in Cancer also means it’s easier to tune into and trust your gut right now — but keep in mind that your emotions can sometimes cloud the truth, so think carefully before listening to that rumble in your belly.